If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
