I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Shame - the story of my life.
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