I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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