After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
