it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
