from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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