I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
how does that bad decision feel?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
