And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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