You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
