i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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