Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
