I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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