She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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