she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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