Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
