WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
