I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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