I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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