You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
