his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
