Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
