I wanna passion pit in your ass
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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