Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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