About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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