he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
