i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Dignity is for republicans.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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