party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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