So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
