omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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