Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
