I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just want nice things and good sex
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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