I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
