i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
