last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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