just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Two words: blizzard sex
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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