My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
