Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
