btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
