spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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