Four minutes until I can fart!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
