Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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