is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
