Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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