How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
