We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
