i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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