So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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