she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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