she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize