Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
