Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I will die if light touches me.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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