i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
