Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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