there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Come see our sink grown plant.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
