Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
