You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
