The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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