im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
