cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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